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In addition to this hopeless love that I feel, I find myself seething with anger at the fact that not once yet has he said anything to the effect of "I love you" or "I still love you." When it seemed to be no problem for him to express it in secret before. Hell, I think even an "I miss you" would suffice but instead, it has been "I still care for you," which only make me feel even more ridiculous about the way that I feel as well as disgusted with myself for allowing this to happen in the first place. I feel so foolish for having allowed myself to be caught up in a tangled web that only turned out to be full of lies and unrealistic dreams and expectations. As hard has it is to explain and in spite of all the hurt he has caused, I still believe that he is the person I am meant to be with in this life. It is not every day that you find someone who makes you feel the way he has made me feel and as pathetic as it is to admit, I don't want to let him go. So, with that, I have decided to. I had Period which covered not quite the same volume as the HACs could. Let me bounce this off you, Millicent...I think the makeup of this group is just about right for a raiding force...But we should have at the centre a larger CHAC with the necessary 'puter power for the missiles, the 'puters in the 'Grendels' as backup; she should have a full complement of recce UVAs and KeyHACs. The screen of CL and DDs each with a cutter and UVA, perhaps a KeyHAC on the CL as well – there is space available and this multiplies the screens' Cruise missile. 'Puters in the screen to link with CHAC 'puter to give control over a larger missile first salvo and more missiles per salvo. Missile carrier to be virtually slaved to the CHAC. The Commander can be anywhere – perhaps on "Shriek" for this group? When we get back and settle I'll write up a paper for discussion."Millicent nodded slowly,"Why the secrecy?"McCock looked blankly at her for a second before responding,"Keep them guessing!"Millicent.
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